I cannot fathom the incomprehensible sense of loss I feel at the thought of you moving back to the distances. As with every year we part with promises to meet again (soon).

Your love and affection make me weak and strong at the same time. Somehow I feel lost and found all at once today. There is a strange dissatisfaction with this oddity of feelings ebbing against my consciousness. I realize that the simple joys of togetherness are the greatest gifts which time provides us.

With all my hopes to be with you again, God bless you in every way!

After a long time today, i am back here. People you once knew, ones who meant a lot, now strangers. Honestly, looking back sure gives a perspective to the time which was once there. It was never meant to be. I know that now. My heart saddens for the grief you are going through. For I know the incomprehensible loss, and confusion.

Today is fine, and the future i can look forward to. Again i write just for myself, just to make things clearer to me.

I thought I was at peace.

Missing the comfort and warmth of companionship, love and friendship. Life is so much more than a string of plans and actions beaded together. It has to be so much more than a wait, a long wait of hoping to see your dreams come alive.

Life needs to be the warmth of holding hands,the joy of looking at each other, the affection of understanding each other, just by looking across the room. It has to be the beauty which fills up your heart, by its mere presence, of knowing that yours is a one of a kind love/friendship which will stand the tests of time. You have to be comfortable showing each mixed up dusted corner of your mind,body and soul. Of knowing that this is peace. Of knowing that this craziness runs through both of you. It can't be a single charted road. It can't be a horse running on one leg. It has to gallop and it has to share that cuddly fuzzy joy of wanting to be together.

How can it be a disappointment through and through. How can it be simply a long wait. And why does it need to be a land full of only patience. On days it has to be a crazy ass kicking adventure. An adventure only the two of you can understand. How can it be love if most of the days you feel mis-understood. There is a beauty of friedship and love, snatches of which I have felt. Sadly unable to get that adventure through and through.