College life is over both factually and now again virtually!
Everyday I see updates on the social networks- miss you's, proud batch mates, and photographs of teary farewells. makes me feel out of this race of bidding adieu. Strange, few months back I thought leaving college would be this big emotional drama of my life, would create a lacuna in this happy go lucky world of mine.
Few months later- zipping to today, I stand proved wrong. This apathy to the big emotion of stepping out of the college world neither stuns me nor seems too normal to me. Turns out, its people and memories you cherish rather than some building.
This sense of melancholy I see in my college mates, maybe because the feeling of change has hit them just some weeks back. If I think it over,it would be their near and dear ones they would miss, they would miss the routine which graduation provided, the sense of security.
I haven't over-analysed this hardened heart of mine till now. Sure it pinches me when I see the people I spent 4 years of my life smiling and waving in photographs. Sure its weird that here I am away from all the known, living in the unknown. Sure its a sense of sadness when I see millions of memories of hundreds of people and not even one is of mine.
But I guess its all right. Its all well, because Iv had months to acclimatize to this scenario. I dn't feel pity or sadness, its just a sense of bewilderment! (How could plans change so much? How could it turn out to be so. Few men and women I called my own, how could they have changed so much?)
I am no longer a woman, who would freely portray her feelings, most of the time what I say now is some jumbled up facade.
Doesn't matter if i am not in the memory or default albums of people, I guess its all in the head. Won't dedicate big words and lines and poems to this feeling, all I have to say is
Would miss this life I had been living, would miss the 'people' who made their place in my heart. Some stood the test of time, some sadly fell apart. Yet
College life was fun!
:)
2 comments:
"I am no longer a woman, who would freely portray her feelings, most of the time what I say now is some jumbled up facade."
I feel the same (replace woman with man, lol). Strange, because I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Reminds me of this quote from The Kite Runner:
"And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too."
All the best for your life after-college! The REAL world begins now ;)
The lines you quoted were the most heart felt.
It Maybe good, maybe bad. whose to say?
The real world begins now. True!
Thanks
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