I had never embraced my life. I had made something of it, and fought for it but i had never particularly enjoyed it.
Carpe diem, I told myself, sieze the day. Whatever I had, I was going to spend it well.
I fall and I pick myself up. I lose hope yet I dream. I am lost and I find myself again, I cry and I laugh through my tears. I despair yet I believe !!!
6/9/11
6/8/11
To be afraid is a priceless education. Once you have been that scared about something, you know more about your fraility than most people, and I think that changes a person.
And after the scare comes belief. Without belief in yourself, we would be left with nothing but an overwhelming doom, every single day. And it will beat you. I didn't fully see, until understanding this how we fight every day against the creeping negatives of the world, how we struggle daily against the slow lapping of cynicism. Its like cancer. Dispiritedness and disappointment, these were the real perils of life, not some sudden illness or cataclysmic millenium doomsday.
Why people fear cancer, because it is a slow and inevitable death, it is the very definition of cynicism and loss of spirit.
And so I believe.
And after the scare comes belief. Without belief in yourself, we would be left with nothing but an overwhelming doom, every single day. And it will beat you. I didn't fully see, until understanding this how we fight every day against the creeping negatives of the world, how we struggle daily against the slow lapping of cynicism. Its like cancer. Dispiritedness and disappointment, these were the real perils of life, not some sudden illness or cataclysmic millenium doomsday.
Why people fear cancer, because it is a slow and inevitable death, it is the very definition of cynicism and loss of spirit.
And so I believe.
6/6/11
self
Walking away.. because it doesn't make sense cribbing and crying any longer. Walking away because i want to grow up and feel the real feelings now.
Walking away because I don't want to look back into the memories. The good and bad, i no longer want to remember...
Going away on a journey to find myself, for the first time. I don't promise to be good, don't promise to be bad. I promise my 'self' to give it all the chances, it always deserved. I promise to avoid the obvious hurts, to live for what I believe in.I promise to give back when I get hurt.
There is no one else in this void, its only me swirling in the chaos, like a leaf trying to find direction in the storm. But its better to be alone rather than crashing and burning another. Its better to know yourself first rather than promise to understand someone else.
Believe me I have done all now, yet I think the problem is that i don't understand myself. I don't know what I want.
And that is the path I am choosing.
There is something surrounding me, that makes me want to cut all the shackles. It makes me want to cut the losses and bring a change in my life.
Step number 1: Reconnect to my self. Know my strengths, weaknesses and falls
Project Zeitgiest.
Walking away because I don't want to look back into the memories. The good and bad, i no longer want to remember...
Going away on a journey to find myself, for the first time. I don't promise to be good, don't promise to be bad. I promise my 'self' to give it all the chances, it always deserved. I promise to avoid the obvious hurts, to live for what I believe in.I promise to give back when I get hurt.
There is no one else in this void, its only me swirling in the chaos, like a leaf trying to find direction in the storm. But its better to be alone rather than crashing and burning another. Its better to know yourself first rather than promise to understand someone else.
Believe me I have done all now, yet I think the problem is that i don't understand myself. I don't know what I want.
And that is the path I am choosing.
There is something surrounding me, that makes me want to cut all the shackles. It makes me want to cut the losses and bring a change in my life.
Step number 1: Reconnect to my self. Know my strengths, weaknesses and falls
Project Zeitgiest.
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