I feel like writing down the story of my life on these pages. I feel like jumping off and growing wings today. Nothing makes sense even now. Even now if I look at the times, i feel shattered, each second a multitude of all the moments I faced, in a langurous pain. but.... But there are no 'buts' to this pain..
It was, like 'rebirth'
Yes rebirth it is, it was like the sun going down, all i couldnt see then, was the surise, which was imminent. Now past the carnage, I can give a defination of myself. Once upon a time, I didn't need a defination, now i understand otherwise. Truths hurt, yes they do. Factually they always do. You just learn to survive the angst. You learn to look at the pictures and give out a cold sigh. The worst part, you dont even want the moments gone by. Just look and let it by.
I dont feel like giving out the pain which I was made to feel. I no longer feel the need to say 'hey you wronged me!' I no longer feel like hurling a mix of abuses at you. If you meet me tomorrow, if you think about me, I would be there, shrugging and nonchalently saying 'Wish you well.'
Truth hurts, it does, but when facing a choice between truth and the real-life reality, maybe the choice is easy. I chose my life now. Because it welcomed me. I stand ashore, the carnage, the memories floating like dead bodies on a blodied river. I shed the tears, but no longer have the strength to bend and pick the strands up..
I am no a quitter, but a wise man, wise enough to not run after what was never mine. I lived a mirage, and now its over. The ugly faces reared their heads. I am not a saint.. A Sinner.. no..
waiting to be vindicated...
PS- I am a very happy person, full of passion for life.. this is just a thought which i had to pen down.
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