Charades, if that is what you want, I'l give them to you, because time has roughned me up.

If there are certain reasons other than love, which make you stay together, a relation like that is doomed from that very point. Because, one fine day those reasons will surely cease to exist, and then surviving the aftermath will be the toughest challenge you would have faced.

You seriously cant totally believe in 'I,Me,Myself.'
Surely life would have to have a bigger dimension than a one-man identity who is concentrated on JUST these three words!!

A sniper is only a coward, not a hero

This is a time of shame and sorrow. It is not a day for politics. I have saved this one opportunity, my only event of today, to speak briefly to you about the mindless menace of violence in America which again stains our land and every one of our lives. It is not the concern of any one race. The victims of the violence are black and white, rich and poor, young and old, famous and unknown. They are, most important of all, human beings whom other human beings loved and needed. No one - no matter where he lives or what he does - can be certain who will suffer from some senseless act of bloodshed. And yet it goes on and on and on in this country of ours. Why? What has violence ever accomplished? What has it ever created? No martyr's cause has ever been stilled by an assassin's bullet. No wrongs have ever been righted by riots and civil disorders. A sniper is only a coward, not a hero; and an uncontrolled, uncontrollable mob is only the voice of madness, not the voice of reason. Whenever any American's life is taken by another American unnecessarily - whether it is done in the name of the law or in the defiance of the law, by one man or a gang, in cold blood or in passion, in an attack of violence or in response to violence - whenever we tear at the fabric of the life which another man has painfully and clumsily woven for himself and his children, the whole nation is degraded. "Among free men," said Abraham Lincoln, "there can be no successful appeal from the ballot to the bullet; and those who take such appeal are sure to lose their cause and pay the costs." Yet we seemingly tolerate a rising level of violence that ignores our common humanity and our claims to civilization alike. We calmly accept newspaper reports of civilian slaughter in far-off lands. We glorify killing on movie and television screens and call it entertainment. We make it easy for men of all shades of sanity to acquire whatever weapons and ammunition they desire. Too often we honor swagger and bluster and wielders of force; too often we excuse those who are willing to build their own lives on the shattered dreams of others. Some Americans who preach non-violence abroad fail to practice it here at home. Some who accuse others of inciting riots have by their own conduct invited them. Some look for scapegoats, others look for conspiracies, but this much is clear: violence breeds violence, repression brings retaliation, and only a cleansing of our whole society can remove this sickness from our soul. For there is another kind of violence, slower but just as deadly destructive as the shot or the bomb in the night. This is the violence of institutions; indifference and inaction and slow decay. This is the violence that afflicts the poor, that poisons relations between men because their skin has different colors. This is the slow destruction of a child by hunger, and schools without books and homes without heat in the winter. This is the breaking of a man's spirit by denying him the chance to stand as a father and as a man among other men. And this too afflicts us all. I have not come here to propose a set of specific remedies nor is there a single set. For a broad and adequate outline we know what must be done. When you teach a man to hate and fear his brother, when you teach that he is a lesser man because of his color or his beliefs or the policies he pursues, when you teach that those who differ from you threaten your freedom or your job or your family, then you also learn to confront others not as fellow citizens but as enemies, to be met not with cooperation but with conquest; to be subjugated and mastered. We learn, at the last, to look at our brothers as aliens, men with whom we share a city, but not a community; men bound to us in common dwelling, but not in common effort. We learn to share only a common fear, only a common desire to retreat from each other, only a common impulse to meet disagreement with force. For all this, there are no final answers. Yet we know what we must do. It is to achieve true justice among our fellow citizens. The question is not what programs we should seek to enact. The question is whether we can find in our own midst and in our own hearts that leadership of humane purpose that will recognize the terrible truths of our existence. We must admit the vanity of our false distinctions among men and learn to find our own advancement in the search for the advancement of others. We must admit in ourselves that our own children's future cannot be built on the misfortunes of others. We must recognize that this short life can neither be ennobled or enriched by hatred or revenge. Our lives on this planet are too short and the work to be done too great to let this spirit flourish any longer in our land. Of course we cannot vanquish it with a program, nor with a resolution. But we can perhaps remember, if only for a time, that those who live with us are our brothers, that they share with us the same short moment of life; that they seek, as do we, nothing but the chance to live out their lives in purpose and in happiness, winning what satisfaction and fulfillment they can. Surely, this bond of common faith, this bond of common goal, can begin to teach us something. Surely, we can learn, at least, to look at those around us as fellow men, and surely we can begin to work a little harder to bind up the wounds among us and to become in our own hearts brothers and countrymen once again.
--- Robert F. Kennedy

No hope no pain!

Tonight I have no sleep in my eyes
I think something has just crashed in front of me.
Dilemma is what i'm in.

could-haves have turned into 'not-happening'
I don't feel great at the moment
I'm not thinking much now;
Desolation is around me
suddenly I feel as if iv been marooned
Thrown from the cliff-
banned forever to live the life of Gulliver.

Tonight sleep evades me, i know the reason is valid.
It matters not to me, guess losers can any day quit.
I cannot speak of hope tonight,
bear with me please,judge me not.
I look around me in this almost morning,
I see the purple sky outside my window,
the chill is running through out my emotions,
This page is my only companion right now,
I cannot speak of hope tonight.

You love me yet you hate me

I know you love me YET you hate me
I am just the drug you cant live without.!

You say you love my eyes,
yet I know to you, they are only the mirrors of my guilt.
You say you trust me, and that you belong to me,
yet this time i choose to believe your words not.
I see you walking ahead of me,
as if trying to make some distance between us.
I find you looking for a way out every time your
standing next to me.
Every time I cried my heart out to you then
you told me that tomorrow would be better,
Yet my today finds you pining for freedom.

I know that you love me,
Yet I see the hate in your eyes.
I am simply an idea you once had
I fear it may be discarded soon.

I bleed you, you bleed me,
Its a tale of mutual curse.
I hurt you, you hurt me,
You say i have never ever understood you.
May be, i scarcely know what to believe in!
The clangs are out loud in my head, the clutter has simply grown.
I just know that you love me
Yet now you slowly hate me.

At the lowest ebb right now, I have no beliefs, no systems
To stand upon.
For years you were the only system that worked for me,
My only recluse
I know change is at times good, problems occur
Yet at times I have been the fool.
May be that's why you love me, yet you hate me!

After tonight I know a little part of my ability has been lost
I was proud of my capability to love, serves me right
(Pride hath fall)
I think this is the end of the dreams i strove to weave.
I sit here in my darkest abyss.
The fault I believe lies here
There Iv said it to the world today.

I know that you love me yet you hate me too.
May be the fault is all mine!

Known-Seen-Foreseen

* This is what I have KNOWN-
Tragedies and happiness move on in a circle the start of which is mostly catalytic. The moments transcend into the future in an unimaginable way. What is there today, can never hold a binding promise on your tomorrow. Being prepared or unprepared can in no way give you enough strength to deal with the chaos which will come your way. The only universal truth which will uphold is that everything ultimately moves on - be it life or be it death. The only tragedy which can occur to you will be your conceit and ignorance, Together they make you a fool. And the only greatness of your life can b your own belief in yourself and you your rebound time-the shorter the better.

* This is what I have SEEN-
Tim will never be the constant of life. What will be sure is the crest and fall in the wave of experiences. The love and companionship and the camaraderie surrounding you is the gift of today. Tomorrow this may/may not be there. What is sure is you. A little goodness in you goes a long way to contentment which is the only thing which will keep you sane as you move the harder paths. Prejudice is the pit you dig for yourself. Accepting people for their bad as much as for their good is the now must have if you want to survive. Loneliness is not always a sin, at times it is the balm and the time to re-think. Dream but the end result will surely vary. Lastly the bad situations you have to go through will only help strengthen you. Indulging in self pity and depreciation will lock you in your own morose world. Strength of any person is simply his/her outlook towards living.

* This is what I have FORESEEN
Life as we know it now will change. Bonds will break and re-make as ever. The only way to traverse the upheavals will be laughter and humor. Solitude is the companion for the journey but as we slowly reach the end, mindsets will change. Its then that we will re-discover what everything is about. It is then that we will understand that the innocence we began with was the real way to go!

Seasons of change, the mystery looms large.
what happens tomorrow, is now an uncertain subterfuge,
Looking into the mirror of the future, all you see is the changing of weather

So whats new now!

As life has lead me on, I have come to believe that Man ultimately stands alone. If you are one of the lucky few who are surrounded by loved ones, God bless you. May the happiness lead on.
For the other commoners, I know the fact sucks. Having to rely on yourself to celebrate your joy and pain, its a tough act. Its a party all around, everyone hides behind a facade, the mask of ugliness or beauty. But behind this mask is the same face all through, each one has the same basic lines etched on their faces.How the facade has been decorated is the culmination of the past, the present and all the ordeals or glory you may have faced. The other deal here is how you have aimed to project yourself to the society, to people around you. At times that smiling face, ecstatically dancing in the crowd is the one trying to strengthen the core o his heart. And at times the gloomy morose man sitting in that dark and dingy corner is simply one who has not learned the art of counting his blessings. But that is the tangled thread of human actions. The less resolved the better is this glittering fabric.
You may have a circle of friends and family, but the bottom line is that what is there may be more of an appearance instead of the reality. And when this realization starts/begins to sink in, its then that you begin accepting the futility of what man tries to create. The relations, the friendships, the lovers, the loves everything fades away with time. If not today maybe in another two years. If the relation is there, what vaporizes is the warmth, the essence of its being. What is left behind is only A chalk out of the whole box.
These things are such that you cant run away from accepting then. Why wait till old age to accept this underlining fact of the whole story?? Why wait till you get pushed around? And so Iv accepted whats there, whats true. I'm no longer living in the so called garden of dreams, of non-acceptance. But then that's my story, hiding behind the mask, but then that's MY plan. And strangely I guess now I'm happy that I've reached this conclusion for my life, my way.

The dream time seems to have reached an end. Love and cherishing now "need smiles".
Iv arrived my crossroads, the journey from here after-wards is unclear! I had desired ever lasting moments but time has made me realize that change was and will always be inevitable. Seems futile putting down your roots even for a moment.
The sad part here is that I am not as immune to emotions as i had thought myself to be. I reckon that is the classic human part of me.
I had given up myself, my faith, my destiny and my complete being to fulfill this feeling i had felt. No more after this, no more being prone to wants.

Its been a long week, kind of self explainatory types!
The answers I once tried to find were right there before me. Once again, just for the final touch I threw myself back into the blaze. And I found my lost dreams, the way to lead on. There with me, just for me and had always been only for me.
Wonder why I had been so lost in the maze of surreal emotions?
I picked myself up, I know your traits, I know your indifference, and now I know your betrayals. They shake me not, they guide me not.
I have the key to my bound shackles, to find it I just had to throw myself into the blaze for one last time.
The deal is done, I have understood my aim.
Now waiting for the final touch!

The morning brought with it, if not a brighter outlook, as least a measure of control, some acceptance. Instinctively, I knew that the new tear in my heart would always ache. That was just going to be a part of me now. Time would make it easier — that’s what everyone always said. But I didn’t care if time healed me or not, so long as Jacob could get better. Could be happy again.

__ Eclipse

What you are !

And you wanted me I came to you
And when you wanted someone else I withdrew
And when you asked for light I set myself on fire
And if I go far away I know
You'll find another slave

Cause now I'm free from what you want
Now I'm free from what you need
Now I'm free from what you are !!

Christ Of Abyss

You may have seen me in my deepest abyss, which i sure had dug up for myself. And yes you may have found me faltering and stumbling as i try to make out my next step. Though I tried to live by the rules since ever, they seem to guide me not, and I had surrendered my forever at the doorstep of your aberrations. Yet all you saw was my weakness, echoing my inner fears. I may be something ordinary, my ambitions seem distraught to you, yet when I try to make my come-back, you sure do always erect the same old rules. Through the days of my ever lasting momentum, through the darkest recess of my hours, I have tempered my will to survive. I may be the tiny fragment flowing in the gargantuan flow of your world, I may just be chance of your life. You may not see me even when i am there, and right now you may smile at my uncommon distress.
Its not a epiphany I narrate to you, its not just talk. As I have stood here, watching, all go through the mirror of my life; I have reasoned and rankled against un-justice, i have berated time.
Yet all the possible scenarios of would-haves and could haves, that I foresaw, I know that none could have stood against the tests of time. I now know what a fool I have been, I now know the effect of what i felt.
As I have stood, understood and sometimes mis-understood I get the feeling that lot has simply gone by.

To view with clarity,
And not to be hindered by the opaqueness of false notions,
to let pragmatism lead you, to the pre-defined destiny awaiting!
The rhythmic crests and falls of the monotone never guide the path of truly awakened; they cease to be the yardsticks of judgment. And somewhere as you move along this chalked out road, you stop considering the brickbats or the appraisals you may receive.
To know and more importantly to believe in your notions and creations is the start of your limitless boundaries.

The balance-counterbalance Enigma

People expect answers, people expect decisions, people expect sorries, and then they also expect to find counter-explanations; all from the ruins of the other.

Let me put it this way-- i am a tired soul now, i feel as if iv been through a war-zone and frankly for now, i just want to lie down in my tomb,no matter how dilapidated it becomes, no matter how out-dated it becomes. 

Answers, i had then, now i lack the strength to render them.

Decisions i could have taken then, but without any co-operation they lacked meaning even then. Apologies- i humbled myself right then,but what i got even after that has made me resistant to this whole concept. And now i see no reason to move on that road ever again. Did my share of thinking, my share of festering my wounds. The inner-turmoil can take a toll on any ones resurgent spirit. So be it with me. 

Choices-- i never had any, so now I'll make them,no matter what. Iv spent years living under the shadow of the dreams which turned out to be my nightmare in the end. Iv spent years trying to be the perfect one. And as much as i analyse, it has led me no where. When you start giving yourself up to become someone else's dream -- the chaos can alienate you from your own self. I have undergone self-doubt, again and again and now I stand here before myself as I am, flaky to others, but making a whole lot of sense to my own self. I am no one's dream. I am now my own reality.

To make others believe in you, your past actions have to be believable and instill faith in the psyche of the other.But, as i said I'm tired of all the fettering about, the counter-explanations i need none. I judge none and I want no judgement and censure. 

Once i thought i deserved a lot more from others, now iv simply stopped being a fool. Whatever i deserve I'll accomplish it myself.

Peace Out!

Noticed it recently and did hurt me a little but then i think that now the response has long been over-due.

Now let me rectify my mistake,here on my own ground! A lost-so-called chum of mine has been very critical about his ex, for moving on after,note after he kind of left her himself. And last i read his blog there was some saga about why the three GOLDEN words have become a cliche,and what a bitch she has been to try to be happy without him! Well i kind of have the athourity to speak on this,and with due respects to him and her,let me begin.

"The problem with guys like you is that you are more interested in updating ur areas of residence and a string of so called friends rather than updating the relationship u have had in hand. And then u play the blame game when u she tries to be happy and yes that so-called Moving on!Because you seem to forget that it takes a lot of input into making anything forever. You had been lost in your own sweet world of wants and needs and friends and fun.How the girl passed her time was of no concern because eh-- we are a busy lot man,right! Big dreams and all, so she didnt quite cut the corner there.

The "three golden words" remain a cliche until you dont value the person you have.Being a dreamer and a romancer in name doesnt justify what you put the partner through.Its kind of selfish,putting up dictates which you urself dont follow. And atleast the 'she' in this case didnt hide her relationship from u or the world,unlike you who played around with all the chics available even though you had her in your life. "

 "   Love is a Phase of life, not Life itself, as i thought it'd be,

                   If not for you, At least for me       "

Love is ,believe me a lot more than words and dreams. It emcompasses trusting and  being trustworthy, giving and unselfish, and truthful -the BIG word. Being diplomatic  and revengful aint the way.Projecting yourself as the Martyr is not the way,though realising the mistakes is a sure shot way to become a man. When you hurt others- it does come back,maybe what you go through now, is that karmic justice!

Quit being a quibbler, faults are to be accepted and mended- not pushed away in corners!

Comfortable In the Mess

One problem we all face, at almost some point or the other. It goes like this- so what if i am hurting, so what if its not going the right way and most probably never will! Yet that effervescent bubble of hope, somehow suggests to us to wait and wait and wait. For what? Well that's an enigma, no one can predict. Time-dependant equation. That's all. 

 

We are so accustomed being used and abused, so comfortable being where we are, so unable to look ahead that we go through these millions of heart-breaks,millions of broken dreams being crushed beneath us in our sleepless nights. The circle is vicious as said so many times. But then, the circle is comfortable, and that's the underlying problem we conveniently forget.

To get out of any suffocating burrow, even you have to get your claws dirty to make your way of escape.Occasionally you will have to swallow some dirt, get hurt, go through indecisive moments pertaining to the way you should take.But at the end of the day- at least you will have some hope. Hope of maybe not being the happiest man on the planet, but hope of protecting your dignity and holding your head high. Hope that how your day turn out to be depends on you and some other special people who know your worth. 

We tend to stick to old-dead-no worth relations for no big reason, simply that they have become a habit one which we are used to. We know all the pros and cons, also know that down this road its all hell ; but that fortuitous corner of the mind will advise you to "cross the bridge when it comes. "

In this case bad choice!! Mostly that is. To be unfair to yourself- in the name of waiting, giving the so-called-happiness,not done!! It cant be practical, a decision so big, yet yet tomorrow is a day one should want to see,tomorrow is a day which should hold a chance for you.

The struggle is to see ahead first and then move ahead second.

I say this through experience (some mine some theirs), not mere words. 

Because when you finally open your eyes when outside that messy womb of comfortable complications- lots has gone by. Some which will never come back.

And it ain't as bad outside as we once feared. 

Often love stories move in reverse directions- two people process the same love with respect to time in completely antithetical ways.

For some, the depth of love grows as time spent increases- for some the love shown increases 

:-)

Its all so daft,its all so metaphorical. Because bottom line _ that abstract emotion is on the rise, your insecurities are reducing/sometimes increasing!! You both stand right, yet stubborn.

But when you unravel- you realise that no matter what,as long as it is still there, its worth all the effort and the characteristic madness.

Dawn

And when my thoughts undergo this turmoil, and when i want to scream at the injustice of it all,

there is this under-current of an impending change, one which will bring about a mutiny in my thoughts and actions, I know that it will profoundly impact my view-point.

Another emergence will occur, one which is awashed in itself, with the colours of the new beginnings-- the change which can not be assessed, yet the sublimity of its fine threads have to be held to, to finally stand at the shore of my peaceful serenity!!

Black to You

Death is

always

present as a climactic event that never happens to the

protagonist but

affects him profoundly..

And thats the vision of the balckness, the remorse and the morbidity.

I feel blessed, now that you are here. The journey has come alive, the destination i am looking forward to. Now that i know you will be there. Maybe it had to be so tough to reach there to stand by your side, just so that I know that this is where i belong, with you. 

When i look around us, and see what we have come out through,together and  when I think about the ever we are going to have, I know that the madness has just begun. 

May the Love,the Romance and our Madness never die!

These two quotes made me say- thats so damn true!

My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.

  - Adlai E. Stevenson Jr.

If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon.

  - George Aiken

People do the darnest things! and frankly it aint amusing.

When u know what is right for you, it would be so much better if you took a step towards it, rather than giving bundles of excuses, they just drag time and effort and mostly hurt someone you care about.Accept what is there in your heart, and no use running away from whats the real thing. Moments are too fleeting to be evaded. 

There is a lot to tell you but first you have to have the heart to listen.

I want something new, something different, I want to break this losers streak i seem to suffer from some time! Its not about anything particular, I just miss realizing the dreams which i set for myself, i miss that feel of winning, i miss that satisfaction of a job well performed.

Maybe i'll learn from the mis-haps,and the not-so-mishaps.Maybe its just an empty feeling which makes me wish for new year today.Or should i dream less, be prepared for all eventualities, Life makes us all a cynic, atleast me- im a proven one. I prove time and again, that no matter what happiness i get, il be in this state-till when, i have no clue. 

No im not berating myself or my life or even Life in its whole. im just berating the downs one faces when dreams dont come true- when u stand as a man/woman who knows that the beginning has yet not started.

My time still hasnt come but it feels so long since iv lived :)

"Don't know what I was looking for when I went home, I found me alone

 And sometimes I need someone to say, "You'll be all right. What's on your mind?"
 But the water's shallow here and I am full of fear, and empty handed after two long years

 Another sunny day beneath this cloudless sky

 Sometimes I wish that it would rain here
 And wash away the west coast dreaming from my eyes
 There's nothing real for them to see here "

I'm scared shit right now, and that's not the only thing bugging me. 

my mind is in loopholes, angry, sad, petulant.everything going ping-pong at full speed.I have some things to do now, some liabilities/work which has to be fulfilled,yet my mind is not at a stable zone right now. And its my fault today. I was the one who stepped too ahead to search for what was never there.So if im feeling restless, i cant help it!

 i know what i want, i know my decisions finlly proved me right, but the feeling that something went wrong at my hands, rather something didnt turn up the way i assumed, is there. I faced this big detour, just when i thought it would all go fine. And i dnt want to face it again, ever.

So if this worry because of a multitude of reasons,is troubling me, i guess il have to give it some time to subside and return myself to the place where i had finally placated it to be.

-Mishka

Company Laws!

Have a large cage with 5 apes in it. Place stairs inside vertically and hang a banana at the top of it. Certainly, an ape will go to the stairs and start climbing towards banana.As soon as it touches the stairs, spray all of the apes with cold water. After a while, another ape makes an attempt with the same result- all the apes are sprayed with cold water.

This continues through several more attempts. Pretty soon, when another ape tries to climb the stairs , the other apes will try to prevent it. Now, turn off the cold water. Remove one ape from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new ape sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To its horror, all of the other apes attack him. After another attempt and attack, it knows that if it tries to climb the stairs, it will be assaulted.

Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm. Again, replace a third original ape with a new one.The new makes it to the stairs and is attacked as well.Two of the four apes that beat him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs, or why they are participating in the beating of the newest ape.

After replacing the fourth and fifth original apes, all the apes,which have no been sprayed with cold water, have been replaced. Nevertheless, no ape ever again approaches the stairs.

Why not? Because that's the way they've always done it and that's the way its always been around here.

And thatz how company policy begins..!

I hate to imagine myself in the rut, trying to break from the mould which has been created for anyone who would quietly acquiesce to his/her so-called destiny.

Somedays i feel that the battle can be won, other days i shudder to think of myself in it.Why can't it be simple as it should have been??What you think is what you get-wishful thinking i know.

But at the end of a stressful day, caught between choices, worries, chores whats left of me demands for simple happiness of life - May be trekking,  rafting,  exploring the whole world, enjoying time for once; with no issues no worries about past and future! 

Its then that the thoughts and realities and wants criss-cross and turn it claustrophobic.

As I live through each day, i find everyday complexities increasing;

Strangely,the years make matters of the heart simpler,

The dust of yesterday receeds, the picture clearer now.

Yet today the heart is somewhat bitter,

Because as i live each day,i try to ignore the hurt they throw at me, 

I try to be as calm as ever

I try to rebound every day to a new high, the purpose still the same.

But somehow, they appear to teach me a new lessons,

filled with regrets, i still pander on the distance.

I thought living a life was easy, you just had to set your prioritis in order,

Maybe just be into yourself and what matters to you.

But then they teach me now, the other defination of life(for some)

" LIES, malicious, cutting through your consciousness"

Lies which could hurt someone, whom you dont know for yourself.

In the everyday greed people go through, maybe simple idle talk,

they accuse, they bitch and they try to ridicule. 

Im filled with an anger beyond comprehension, when i feel this chain of forsaken feelings.

Before you hang someone to your judgement, before a gathering,

maybe you should try to know the truth or keep your bloody, fuckin mouth shut.

The hurt you have passed on to others will surely boomerang back to you.

(Hopefully triple the size)!

Im filled with resentment toward the people who hang the innocent with their lies.

Because who are you to judge others, when your own slate is definitely not clean.

Who are you to applaud the low moments of someone's life, when surely,you will have your own!

Who are you to pass off your own weaknesses, your own deceits to other?

Im filled with regret for these people, who have nothing better to do with their life.

The life they lived is shaped by the stories of others,the lows of the Loners, fill them with some weird sense of achievement.

Iv seen all this, sensed the sadness,the vulnerability,when people lie about you.

Sadly the ones who do this to you were your old friends or people whom you dont even talk to.

Sadly for them they have a paradigm shift in their priorities that too in the wrong direction.

Im done dealing with the strappings of the failure of others,and also, im done with being quiet.

Everything,moves in a perfect circle, what you have thrown to others will surely shit your future.

 

Silent Farewells

I beseech thee Silence,

Lets not take things further.

Lets not mull over thoughts again;

You are strong-headed I know

But lets not surpass this line drawn.

You have been with me 

Often as a friend, sometimes , also as my biggest foe. 

Together, you'v see me cross scores of my tragedies,

Holding me in your bosom,

You'v seen me surrender my rights,

You'v been my gaurdian when I had none.

You'v been my saint, when I needed Sanity;

You'v been my devil, when i had the mind to                          rebel.

As I lay awake with you at night,

You showed me a plethora of possiblities

You ran through my mind, The 'mirage' of tomorrow.

Silence,  I saw you as my keeper,

My safeguard.

Locked in my crib of security

You handled me like a possesive and caring mother.

But I beseech thee Silence,

Let me go today;

To stumble again and thus grow further.

Open the lock of your gates,

To let your child make small mistakes. 

Be patient with me today,

Let destiny take my hand. 

I need to ride again

Remove the fear of some falls.

I need to get wounded,the path is dangerous I know;

Like a patient mother, see me go through Life,

Let me learn my possibilities.

You are my protector and 

When my end comes,I'l crawl back to you forever.

But lets bid farewell for now, Silence;

Lets not take things further

Let me make life cherishable, loving it

And blundering across my way.

Wait for me SILENCE........... I'l come to you again !

- Jaya

Horizons

Tonight we send our loved ones, to where we thought they had already gone. 

It seems like a detour,an embarrasing wrong turn.

But the truth is, you never knew where they were going;

We pretended we did and that made us feel better.

But every path leads to the unknown

Some paths drawing others, and some split off on their own. 

We want to know where they all gobut maybe we shouldn't;

Maybe the more we insist on knowing the less we will be able to learn from life's twist and turns.

I know what you are thinking;that the unknown is SCARY !!

But thats ok; we'r humans

Maybe before we feel Free we are supposed to feel Fearfull.

So lets say Goodbye now and remember 

That no matter what we are feeling 

there is no Shame, none at all.

Movements between silence

I am standing by the River, still trying to decipher the movement of the tide.I keep calling to it and then step into the water and then back again. I had thought I could unravel it, but it had too much depth. 

Your water has always made me feel home, yet the depth scares me till now. Maybe I was not destined to decode it, or maybe it was not in the mood of opening up to me.

 Still I try to search, yet till today the search is on. I look inside me, and then at it. No answers yet!

Once it was the sole existence of my life, the heart and soul of my meanings.I forlonly remember the moments, when I blindly but happily stepped into the depths. Maybe it was foolish, yet it had comforted me then. 

The waves lapping up against me, the air rushing through my hair, the feeling of peace.

It was then my victory and now my ultimate doom.

Yet the bond was always unbreakable. 

Now I wish to be bereft of the memories, the tears, the unfulfilled wishes, the laughter, the peace i felt standing besides you shore. Your shadow still pulls me.

Sometimes I think of the moments gone by, but acceptance should be the strength of man. 

So be it with me. I accept that you have run through my town, moving on to newer places, you will see lots in life. 

So now you run through your course and i will run though mine.

And these movements between silence will be the memories of the different paths we chalk out.

So i bid Adieu !

Dreams lead to change

Dreams come true. 

I watched hundreds of thousands of Americans packed on the National Mall from the Capitol to beyond the Washington monument,there,for a glimpse of history in the making. Being a world citizen, everyone cannot help but cheer at the fadng lines of social inequality which has plagued the whole world.Martin Luther King Jr.'s dream for America "that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed," i wish that for all the nations. The ideals of Abraham Lincoln will advance when Barack Obama took the oath for the presedential Office.

Whats so special in the election of the 44th american President?

 Its not so much the office which makes the history, what makes the euphoria ubiquitous, is the promotion of oneness, the bettering of the world- the equality which each man on earth deserves.

I dont talk here about the challenges the man faces, i only talk about the moment right now,the change which everyone should see and allow it to grow. Change is what we need to preserve ourselve, our race.

Change is what i saw even in the Indian election. Yes the very same which we called fabricated and pretentious, the change that the Indian electorate voted on issue basis not on caste basis.

Inequality has always been the bottom line of Indian structure, yet this time we saw a change, however small yet it was present.

Racial inequalities, upward-backward, social status, developed-undeveloped  etc has long doomed the world scenario. Caused enough to think over and to try and nullify the damage done.Small leads to big, and big is what we are seeing in the American elections. It takes time definitely, but then its worth the wait.

The dreams of Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King Jr, took time to reach the pinacle in the form of Obama.  And so can the dreams of Mahatama Gandhi and the Indian electorate develop into who knows what and whom!

Nothing worthwhile comes free. And to begin the journey lets start small. And then the real challenge will begin. 

I agree  with Obama, the leader " We have duties to ourselves, our nation and the world, duties that we do not grudingly accept but rather seize gladly."

An excerpt from his speech, which I believe stands for every nation and every citizen.

" We are shaped by every language and culture,drawn from every end of this earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter  stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon  dissolve ; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself."

Judge youselves on what you can build not what you can destroy. 

And yes dreams do come true. Faith stands, no matter what. You just have to chose to dream and take it forward.   

Paint the past.!

Look i may be taking the pessimistic view here, but when every thing boils to the end, sometimes what you lost on your way may count more than what u got/achieved. We smile throughout our life thinking that there is so much more to get, to cherish. We run after the facades which life creates for us pushing back the losses we suffer.

People we neglect, time we miss out, phases of life we forget to enjoy. Just thinking that there is so much more to get and create.

We miss out on age-old friends in tiny ego clashes, in small greed. We miss out on the glory of happiness in small things. Sometimes we delibrately push back our losses out of our mind, maybe because they are too much to keep us sane any longer.

We miss so much , much more at the end when and if we begin to tally the balance-sheet of our life. Its not our fault, I tell you. Its our conditioning, the conditioning of a tired mind, the conditioning of a blatantly eroding society. Too much happens now. Too much for our senses in all. 

On the larger picture, we dont stop to count the losses mankind faces every second.Loss of life, loss of care, loss of traditions, loss of countries and their cultures. 

Today the extinction of the flora-fauna has been relegated by the extinction of Man in all their forms. You find a war killing millions of men and civilians. The horrendous trade of African albinos. And then we put down the newspapers and yes we simply no longer care.

We run ahead in our life, yearning to get millions-billions.

 

Coming back to the picture, 

Better to hold on to and cherish your today, rather than making it tomorrows regret.

The Age of the AQUARIAN

The story so far, yes i would like to recollect my thoughts and put my self at a little peace. 

I feel this change inside myself as i learn the facts of destiny; the working of the sublime, ephemeral time. working towards inner peace, towards what u want to make yours. No matter what they said, no matter what happens from now on. Relegated the issues which fill you with hate, with uncertainities. 

I ask myself whether i want my fear to steer me? But no its Myself i want to see behind the wheel. 

I look around now, i try to recompensate myself, for all the things i denied myself. I have a wishlist, I love my pinks and greens. Finally I fit my soul to perfection !

I break the monotony, the anger, the ego.. I celebrate life and all what it has to give me. Im not being over zealous(that was a phase of my life, to run away from the wants which tried to hold me). I'm becomming a believer in Myself; in others i put my faith to be tested time and again. Hold them who matter, close to me.

I hope, yet i know it will be tested. yet i'l stand strong no matter what.. to hope again.

And thats the Age of the Aquarian !!

Jaya